I probably used to check Facebook fifty to one-hundred times per day. There were times I would sit there on a break from work and constantly hit refresh. But it wasn’t just Facebook, Twitter and Instagram too. It was pure mindless behavior. Rather than being “social” I was the exact opposite. Real life was going on in front of me while my world was on my phone.

It got to the point that I had to stop.

So I paused my social media use. I’m definitely not alone in my belief that the constant checking of social media became something that was impacting my productivity and concentration. This really hit home when I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. For a week after I would find myself thoughtlessly grabbing my phone and scrolling for the Facebook app only to be interrupted by the memory that I don’t have it anymore.

There is a lot of good with social media. The ability to stay connected with those you aren’t close to geographically. The ability to see pictures and share experiences with our friends. There’s also the negative. Here’s shy I paused social media.

Narcissism: I found myself becoming somewhat of a Facebook narcissist. Reading Robert Greene’s new book The Laws of Human Nature made this hit home. For me it was more about the notifications and who was liking my posts and how many likes I had then actually liking and interacting with others. A tool to connect became a brag machine where I could boast about what flight I was about to take or the latest and greatest thing my kids did. It wasn’t that bragging about my kids was bad, it was the fact that it was driving my behavior. I became the look at me guy.

All the Negativity: Facebook and Twitter can be an incredibly negative place, especially when it comes to politics. For many social media is their platform to endlessly feed the outrage machine. If they aren’t complaining about politics they are complaining about every other slight. We all know these people. Many are very kind hearted and productive members of society that for some reason feel that social media is their platform to change the minds of everyone else. This is particularly amplified up to and immediately after elections. For many Facebook is the place to vent about everything they dislike about sports, politics, celebrity, you name it. As a result a place that many go for positivity often is turned into a place of irritation.

It’s a time suck: People under the age of twenty-five spend on average of 32 minutes per day on Instagram. For teenagers I’m assuming that number is much higher. Beyond the 32 minutes per day the patterns of how we engage with social media is even more disrupting than the amount of time we spend using it. The tiny little dopamine hits we get when we reach for our phone to look at Instagram create interruption patterns that impact our productivity at work and our ability to stay engaged with the people who are right in front of us. How often do we find ourselves feeling the need to reach for our phone while we are engaged in conversation? We’ve all seen the sad sight of a group sitting at dinner each individually looking at their phones. It’s not only a time waster, it is literally making use lonely and less connected.

Distraction is a bad look: We’ve all been caught in that moment when our wife or good friend tells us something and we miss it because we were staring down at our phone. The other person knows we weren’t paying attention. They may not say anything, but it creates negativity in our relationships. Our friends and family are important people who deserve our attention. It would be a major faux pas to sit in a business meeting and scroll through Facebook. For some reason many feel the need to do that with those closest to us. I was guilty of this. This distraction not only impacts our relationships it also makes us bad listeners and really bad at conversation. The art of conversation for the younger generation is literally dying. So many young people are so dug into their phones that they never develop the ability to be interesting and hold a conversation. Real skills that can help them in the future are never being developed.

So I’m on a pause now. The pause may be short or it may be permanent. If I come back I’ll come back after learning to re-prioritize social media and to use it to actually engage with others and spread positivity.