Three Keys to Making Your New Year's Resolutions Last
By: Aaron Barrette
With Christmas and New Year’s Day falling on a Tuesday it means consecutive short weeks of work and the chance for rest and relaxation. After we ring in the New Year with a kiss for our special someone and the singing of Auld Lang Syne, our thoughts will turn toward what we’d like to accomplish in the coming year as part of the never-ending quest to make next year the best one yet.
As far back as Ancient Mesopotamia the celebration of the New Year has held great significance. The Babylonians, present day Iraq, celebrated Zagmuk— literally meaning “beginning of the year.” The 12-day feast was fascinating in that it celebrated the triumph of Marduk, the patron deity of Babylon, over the forces of Chaos. The battle between Marduk and Chaos lasts 12 days, the same number of days as the festival.
A battle to defeat chaos is a fitting microcosm of the holiday season. As the calendar turns deeper into the fall the days get shorter and darker leading up to the winter solstice on December 21. The celebration of Christmas, with all that goes into the hosting and gift buying and social obligations leading up to New Year can be a time of chaos for many of us. Most of us love the chaos but also know that once the calendar turns, we have to regain our focus on the New Year and the objectives we’ve all set.
So how are you going to defeat that chaos and make 2019 the best year yet?
Achieving those New Year’s Resolutions is all about an emphasis on resolve, implementing success systems and focusing on what you can control (versus what you cannot control).
Resolve: The noun version of the word resolution is resolve and a deeper look at the word reveals a deeper meaning. The term resolve descends from Middle English resolven "to dissolve," from Latin resolvere "to untie." In English, the obsolete sense of "to dissolve" can be seen in this line from Shakespeare: "O, that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew."
When you resolve to do something you are setting out on a fundamental change, freeing yourself or disentangling (untying) yourself. An example is standard New Year’s Resolution of making a more determined effort to go to the gym. If you look at that resolution as a “resolve” to go to the gym you are defining your motivation in the terms of freeing yourself from the person you once where, or permanently changing your mindset from someone who is not a gym-goer into someone who makes going to the gym and exercising a key part of your persona. If you make a New Year's resolution to exercise every day, you'll need plenty of resolve to stick with your program.
So how do you build and maintain that resolve? Combine that resolve with a system and you can build an effective practice of daily exercise.
So let’s talk about one of my favorite subjects, the need for a system. When you define your resolutions take the extra step of defining what system you will use to maintain momentum towards achieving and making your resolution permanent.
One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is saving money, typically right up there with working out and eating healthier as a top three most common New Year’s resolutions. Saving money is achievable provided you implement a system of saving money. That system could be something as simple as having more of your paycheck deposited every two weeks into your savings account. Implement this savings system and, provided you don’t have to raid your savings account, you will have saved money at the end of the year.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, set resolutions that are attainable by focusing on things that are within your control and take massive action. Focusing on what you can control is one of the guiding lessons of Stoic Philosophy, the idea that some things are in our control and some things are out of our control.
According to our good friend Epictetus:
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with choices I actually control.”
So focus on what you actually can control. An example of focusing on what you can control versus what you cannot control are resolutions like getting promoted at work or getting a pay raise. Such career minded goals are admirable, but they really are beyond your control. You may be the hardest and most diligent worker in the office but that doesn’t guarantee you’ll achieve a promotion or raise. A resolution that you can control are the steps that go into getting a raise or promoted at work, such as focusing on improving your talent stack to make you more attractive for promotion. An example would be taking a public speaking course, furthering your education in a career related subject, or a specific focus on building your brand through better networking.
So let’s make 2019 the most rewarding year yet by setting attainable goals for ourselves backed by a system that we can actually control.