Last week I had what I perceived a very difficult work related phone call. As the clock moved closer to the afternoon conference call time, my dread increased. A tiny little part of me was hoping the client wouldn’t show up for the call.

The client showed up on the call, they always do. And, like always, the call went just fine. I’ve been in sales for nearly twenty-years and have had hundreds of such high pressure calls. I’m no rookie, and have the skill set and experience to handle these situations, yet none of that experience stopped the dread from building up inside me.

We’ve all been there and we all know the outcome. Whether it’s a job interview, a tough conversation with a loved one, or breaking really bad news to someone, It’s never as bad as it seems.

Not that the negative voice in our head cares.

The mind is funny. No matter how confident we should be based on our past life experiences, we still find ourselves in these situations. Common sense, and history, tell us that these travails are what we want. It’s the act of taking the difficult experience head on that makes us stronger. It’s the act of heading into the unknown.

Throughout my life one of my favorite reading subjects has been any book about the great explorers of the past. Each of these explorers, whether it be Captain Cook or Magellan or Roald Amundsen regularly set off into the unknown, into areas that were up until that point uncharted. Each difficult obstacle built resiliency and endurance and a passion for more difficult obstacles. Of course for the great explorers, one success was never enough. They constantly strived for more.

Why should it be any different for us?

Why the anxiety?

Why does the mind constantly resist these challenges?

What can we do to overcome these doubts in our mind?

We all know the answer. The only real answer is action. We can sit back and run every single scenario through our head but the reality is we never know the real outcome until we take action. The Obstacle is the Way.

Avoidance is inevitable failure. Taking the obstacle head-on may mean failure as well, but more often than not it means success. More than anything, treat these doubts as the opportunity to build more body armor, with the attitude that the challenge we are facing is exactly what we need at this time in our life. Procrastination is a killer, avoid it at all costs.

Recognize these seeds of doubt as they begin to blossom in your mind. Be mindful of them and realize that they are absolutely human and everyone has them. This is the exact reason I open up about my struggles on these pages. All too often we read articles and listen to podcasts by gurus who seem to have it all figured out. I’m not one of those guys. I’m still very much on this journey. That’s why I write.

When I think of the doubts that fester in our mind when we’re facing a difficult situation I think of Joseph Campbell, who used the example of Nietzsche:

“Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called ‘the love of your fate.’ Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, ‘This is what I need.’ It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment— not discouragement— you will find the strength is there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature and your life.”

Don’t worry about what you can’t control. And what you can control, take head on. Embrace the fact you are going to have defeats, sometimes on a weekly basis. Use those tiny defeats as battle scars toward the victory in the biggest battle of all.

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