Why We Struggle With Willpower and What the Experts Tell Us We Can Do to Improve It

There’s a famous experiment, the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. Young children were put in a room and a marshmallow was placed in front of them. They were told that if they were able to resist eating the marshmallow for 15 minutes they would get a second treat, which was also in their view. The researchers then left the room and observed them. The results were a classic test of willpower. Some children ate the marshmallows immediately. The majority were able to resist and wait the fifteen-minutes and get a second treat.

It was a great test of instant vs. delayed gratification. In follow up studies the researchers found unexpected correlations between the results of the test and the success of the children in later years. In 1988 the first follow-up study was conducted which showed that preschool children who delayed gratification longer in the test were described more than ten-years later by their parents as adolescents who were significantly more competent. Later experiments showed that the children who delayed gratification typically showed higher SAT scores.

I have no doubt that six-year-old me would have failed that test. There are times when adult me may not fare well on it. Willpower has always been a challenge for me in certain areas.

As Cal Newport says, “willpower is the forever struggle of the human soul.”

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Advice on Parenting: Let Your Kids Get Wet in the Rain-- It's Good for Them

As a non-native resident of Orange County, California I’ve enjoyed many a laugh at how a good percentage of the locals respond to any weather that isn’t 75 degrees and sunny. Yesterday drought stricken California finally got some rain, the second rainfall in a week. As what typically happens, the rain brought out the North Face jackets, stocking caps, mittens and umbrellas.

Yesterday, as I was waiting in the longer than usual school drop-off line it struck me that nearly every single elementary school child immediately got out of the car and opened up an umbrella. In some cases mom actually got out of the car (holding up the line) and walked around the car with an open umbrella, seemingly in fear of a single rain drop falling on their child. And this wasn’t a downpour, more of a moderate drizzle.

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